THEY certainly tell some gradely tales in Billinge, where Lanky twang is still very much in evidence.

And reader Tom Topping, from Beaumont Avenue, St Helens, comes up with a little purler, in proving that it wasn't always fair play in that 'Land of the Lump.'

It's a tale from the twenties, as was oft related by Tom's dad, Joe Topping.

One day a fight broke out in the yard of a village pub and a crowd quickly gathered.

One of the local mams, happening to pass by, shouted: "What's gooin' on?"

"A feight!" called out one of the crowd.

"Who'os feightin'?" inquired mam.

"Why, it's your Jimmy and some stranger," came the reply.

There was a sudden roar and Jimmy's mam began dancing around the edge of the crowd, trying to get a good view.

"Who'os gone daen?" she asked.

"Your Jimmy," was the response.

"Ler 'im ger up then . . . fair play's bonny play!" bawled out mam.

The fight continued for a few more minutes, prompting a further roar from the crowd.

"Who'os daen nay?" asked mam.

"Stranger!" came the reply.

"Well," shouts mam, "then por (clog kick) 'is bloody rops in!"

NICE one, Tom! For anyone ignorant of ancient Lancashire slang, I'm sure that any genuine Billinger will provide interpretation in full.

Converted for the new archive on 14 July 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.