Review: Celebrity Big Brother 2012

First published in Reviews

AND so we’ve gone from the sublime to the ridiculous in a matter of days.

No Olympics on the telly was always going to leave a viewing hole but it didn’t take long for standards to drop into the abyss. Yes, instead of edge of the seat drama, wonderful human stories and some great role models, I give you ... Celebrity Big Brother 2012.

Was it just me or could the sound of barrels being scraped be heard all over the country on Wednesday? Yes, the great unveiling of the contestants was worse than you could imagine.

A lacktustre crowd of people desperate to get on the telly trying to be enthusiastic in what looked like a B&Q car park (that’s just the audience) had their nights made when up popped host and Graham Norton-lite Brian Dowling.

Then we had the ‘dancers’ – a motley bunch of scantily clad individuals who looked as though they were on their way to the nearest lap dancing club.

Forget Danny Boyle’s sublime opening ceremony, Susan Boyle could have done better than this.

“It’s your chance to see your favourite celebrities” he bellowed in best Davina-style. Favourite celebrities?

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you a former Miss Derby, two ‘stars’ of American reality TV, Simon Cowell’s ex and a page 3 girl!

Julian Clary, what have you done!

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