‘BRITISH menfolk – stubborn, unimaginative, flatulent, uni-taskers’.
It is hard to believe that this glowing conclusion comes from their partners.
Or maybe it isn’t. Women thrive on complaining about men.
And, as readers of this column know, I do it regularly. I’ve also been criticised for it on more than one occasion.
So, when I read the results of this latest ‘why men irritate women’ survey, exposing blokes as a nation of TV remote-hugging, flatulent snorers, who stare blatantly at other women, are unable to multi-task, refuse to admit they are wrong, are “thoroughly unable” to be spontaneous, and who ignore their partner, I resisted the almost overpowering urge to agree.
Instead, I decided to break with tradition and list the things I like about my husband.
True, I did have to scrape the inner recesses of my brain, but I managed to come up with a few reasons: n He’s dependable – other than the time he spends at work, he’s always around when you need him, and doesn’t spend every evening at the pub.
- He is trustworthy. At least I think so. Of course, I could be totally wrong, and there may be a sultry mistress at the other side of town smirking as she reads this, saying: “What does she know?”
- Football, rugby and cars don’t interest him in the slightest. I wouldn’t mind if he could fix cars – I once had a boyfriend who could, and it saved me a fortune – but I’ve always stayed clear of petrolheads who talk in terms of brake horsepower and torque, and whose favourite programme is Top Gear.
- He loves to cook – a big bonus in any household. His meals are sometimes delicious, other times merely tasty, but always edible.
- We like the same things – well, outside the house we do – looking round churches (even though neither of us is remotely religious), walking, visiting new places. Inside we clash over most things, from music to tidiness.
- He lets me take charge of the remote. This does generate a few grunts of disapproval, especially when I choose Location, Location, Location, or some such “total, mind-numbing rubbish” as he puts it. But overall, he knows I play fair and regularly pick something interesting on BBC4.
- As being a dad goes, he makes a reasonable job of it, although he’s a bit too lenient now the children are teenagers, and doesn’t lay down the law like I do.
So there, I’ve done the unthinkable – written a positive column about my husband.
Funnily enough the survey was by a bingo website – where the women who filled it in doubtless spend hours. I’d like to hear what their husbands have to say about that.