Helen Mead: My life in past phone messages

Chorley Citizen: Helen Mead

1:50pm Monday 20th October 2014

THE nicest thing about my old mobile phone was the stored messages.

Helen Mead: Spend your money on enjoying life

Chorley Citizen: Helen Mead: The 'one foot in the grave' list

3:20pm Monday 13th October 2014

WHEN I was a child there were no property programmes on TV.

HELEN MEAD: A major life change for all of us

Chorley Citizen: Photograph of the Author

3:14pm Monday 6th October 2014

MY eldest daughter has left home. She may never live with us again. She has been in our care for 18 years and we have strived to keep her safe and well.

Helen Mead: What has the world come to?

Chorley Citizen: Helen Mead

2:20pm Monday 29th September 2014

WHEN I was young, subjects picked apart and discussed at length on television tended to be hard-hitting.

Helen Mead: Learning to drive’s an ‘L’ of an ordeal

Chorley Citizen: Photograph of the Author

2:59pm Monday 22nd September 2014

THERE was relief all round when my daughter passed her driving test.

Helen Mead: I would so love to be able to sew

Chorley Citizen: Helen Mead

2:04pm Monday 15th September 2014

If I ever get the chance to learn something new I’ll choose dressmaking.

Helen Mead: Summer hols? Give me a break

Chorley Citizen: Photograph of the Author

1:45pm Monday 8th September 2014

WHAT a relief, I hear people say, celebrating the start of the autumn term. Everyone, bar teachers, is letting out sighs as their offspring head to the bus stop, backpack on shoulder.

Helen Mead: Seduced by the magic of France

Chorley Citizen: Photograph of the Author

4:10pm Monday 11th August 2014

THE wine, the cheese, the fashion, the language — what's not to like about France? Well, the cheese for a start — I hate the stuff.

HELEN MEAD: Chance to appreciate sisterly love

Chorley Citizen: Photograph of the Author

4:30pm Monday 28th July 2014

What is it about sisters that causes them to love and hate each other at the same time?

HELEN MEAD: Adults need lessons in manners

Chorley Citizen: Evening Press columnist Helen Mead. (5189310)

5:13pm Monday 21st July 2014

I’ve just read a teens’ guide to good manners.

Helen Mead: Where’s the sand, where is the sea?

Chorley Citizen: Image for French Matters

1:20pm Monday 7th July 2014

I DON’T want to give people the wrong idea when I say I’m about to go on holiday to Paris but I’m not looking forward to it.

Helen Mead: Pet fashions getting well out of hand

Chorley Citizen: Helen Mead: The 'one foot in the grave' list

2:30pm Monday 30th June 2014

ARE they baby clothes? I asked my husband while out shopping.

Helen Mead: Hooray for wonderful Wimbledon

Chorley Citizen: Andy Murray will defend his Wimbledon title this summer.

5:20pm Monday 23rd June 2014

Three cheers for Wimbledon fortnight — two weeks of top-flight tennis to entertain us. It’s day one and I’m loving it already. Well, most of it. There are a few down sides.

Helen Mead: Thought of change is the worry

Chorley Citizen: Helen Mead: The 'one foot in the grave' list

5:01pm Monday 16th June 2014

A NEW computer system has been installed in the office, changing the way we work. We all – techno-wizards and Luddites alike – had to get to grips with it, and fast.

Helen Mead: Every day should be special

Chorley Citizen: Helen Mead

2:34pm Monday 9th June 2014

It’s Father’s Day on Sunday, when dads across the country will wake up to novelty socks, wacky beer mugs and quirky cufflinks.

Helen Mead: Memory banks in danger

Chorley Citizen: Wild and Wolf phone, £49.95, bloomsbury store.com

2:30pm Monday 2nd June 2014

The telephone number of Wendy, my best friend at school was 227.

Helen Mead: Chefs have been awarded rock star status

Chorley Citizen: Photograph of the Author

1:34pm Monday 12th May 2014

I’VE started shouting at the TV again. I’ve been watching Masterchef, or as I call it The ‘Emperor’s New Clothes’ Show.

In no position to order the Kama Sutra

Chorley Citizen: Helen Mead: The 'one foot in the grave' list

1:25pm Monday 28th April 2014

I was a little disturbed last Friday when I opened a parcel, addressed to me, to find The Little Black Book of Kama Sutra.

Helen Mead: There’s just too much to choose from

Chorley Citizen: Helen Mead: The 'one foot in the grave' list

5:34pm Monday 14th April 2014

INVISIBLE Dry; Ultra Dry; Silk Dry: oh how I long for the days when a deodorant was just that, a stick of deodorant — plain and simple.

Blog: Speedy way to learn to slow down

Chorley Citizen: Helen Mead: The 'one foot in the grave' list

3:25pm Monday 7th April 2014

I cursed when I saw it. A police van parked at the side of the road, flashing intermittently as cars streamed past. A speed camera.

Helen Mead: Warning - there are too many danger signs

Chorley Citizen: Helen Mead: The 'one foot in the grave' list

2:21pm Monday 17th March 2014

I thought I was seeing things when I came across a man putting up a sign in the field behind our house, warning people about a ditch that runs alongside.

Helen Mead: I’m right behind you, Scotland!

Chorley Citizen: Which way will Scotland vote?

1:40pm Monday 10th March 2014

I’M getting a bit fed up with the Scottish independence debate.

Helen Mead: So there, I’ve done the unthinkable

Chorley Citizen: THE engagement and wedding ring which was stolen.

2:10pm Monday 3rd March 2014

‘BRITISH menfolk – stubborn, unimaginative, flatulent, uni-taskers’.

Helen Mead: Maybe it’s just that I’m unlucky

Chorley Citizen: Helen Mead: The 'one foot in the grave' list

2:40pm Monday 24th February 2014

A DOORMAT was delivered to my home last week. Not just any old doormat, but a fabulous, colourful, flowery doormat, created by the Irish designer Orla Keily.

Helen Mead: Top tips to help cope with Blue Monday

Chorley Citizen: Helen Mead: The 'one foot in the grave' list

4:43pm Monday 17th February 2014

If everyone seems to have a long face today, there’s a reason for it. It’s Blue Monday, the day thought to be the most depressing of the year, thanks to a number of factors.

Helen Mead: I need a few new sights and sounds

Chorley Citizen: Helen Mead: The 'one foot in the grave' list

3:20pm Monday 3rd February 2014

‘IT seems like only yesterday that we were in Edinburgh.” It was at this time last year that we spent a weekend in the Scottish capital, and my husband was commenting on the past 12 months having flown by.

Helen Mead: Reliving my days gone by with children

Chorley Citizen: Helen Mead: The 'one foot in the grave' list

2:20pm Monday 27th January 2014

‘I don’t like this film, it’s boring,” my daughter commented on The Go-Between, which we forced her and her older sister to watch as part of the old-fashioned upbringing we are trying to thrust upon them.

Helen Mead: I continue to protest in small ways

5:30pm Monday 6th January 2014

LAST week my eldest daughter returned a jumper she adored to a shop.

Helen Mead: I just lack the resolve these days

Chorley Citizen: Helen Mead: The 'one foot in the grave' list

2:59pm Monday 30th December 2013

This is the week when we set about changing ourselves. Or at least we make promises to do so. Lose weight, get a new job, stop smoking — we mentally plan to do all these things.

Blog: I’m guilty of pavement rage...

12:35pm Monday 16th December 2013

I hate to admit it, but I was guilty of a spot of pavement rage at the weekend.

Great Harwood care home to make improvements

1:43pm Tuesday 10th December 2013

A CARE home in Great Harwood has been told to make improvements after minor concerns were raised by a health watchdog.

Helen Mead: The 'one foot in the grave' list

Chorley Citizen: Helen Mead: The 'one foot in the grave' list

3:07pm Monday 9th December 2013

Forget wrinkles and grey hair - a liking for sprouts could be a sign of ageing.

Column: Who needs blue blood and grey hair?

2:10pm Monday 25th November 2013

I ACTUALLY found myself feeling sorry for Kate Middleton — a previously unheard of emotion — when she was recently pictured looking exhausted, with her greying roots, as the tabloids said ‘on show’.

Blog: Like having babies all over again

3:30pm Monday 18th November 2013

DON’T let them sleep for too long or they’ll be up all night.

Blog: I’ve started, so I’ll finish... ranting!

5:34pm Monday 30th September 2013

I’m not one for shouting at the TV, but for some reason quiz shows leave me seething.

Blog: Baby bumps? Let's show them off!

3:15pm Monday 9th September 2013

I knew it was only a matter of time before the Duchess of Cambridge appeared with a stomach flatter than Holland.

Blog: How lessons drove me to despair

5:02pm Monday 2nd September 2013

I got the shock of my life the other day when I spotted my daughter at the wheel of a car. Obviously, I knew she was having driving lessons, but she’s usually picked up and dropped off at school, so to see her motoring down the street was very odd. It seems like only yesterday that I was lurching along as a learner in my dad’s Mini Cooper estate.

Blog: No signal! What bliss it would be!

5:02pm Monday 19th August 2013

IS it just me, or should teenagers be allowed to send and receive text messages into the early hours of the morning?

Blog: Youngsters lack spirit of enterprise

5:39pm Monday 12th August 2013

MY youngest daughter and her friend doubled their holiday money with an Apprentice-style enterprise.

Blog: Is it a black hole? No, it's my wardrobe

5:17pm Monday 5th August 2013

Having an organised wardrobe is, apparently, the key to having an organised life. I don’t usually take a keen interest in my wardrobe, but having chatted to a lovely woman whose job it is to sort and declutter them, I’m seeing it through fresh eyes.

Helen Mead Blog: Bringing up baby without the expense

5:12pm Monday 29th July 2013

Having a posh nursery kitted out at taxpayers’ expense with no doubt hundreds of freebies from solid gold potties to diamond-encrusted pushchairs, I don’t suppose we will see Kate and Wills trawling around the Bucklebury car boot sale or perusing charity shops on Kensington High Street.

Blog: I've got mail, but probably don't want it

5:11pm Monday 22nd July 2013

I’m away on holiday this week – but I haven’t left an automatic email message telling people that. It’s not because those sort of emails are among those that people find the most annoying, but because I wouldn’t know how to set such a message if I wanted to.

Blog: The old itch of bygone summers

2:51pm Monday 15th July 2013

I’D forgotten how bad it can be. It was as if I’d smeared a handful of chilli seeds on my eyes. All day they itched and I would have needed handcuffs to keep from rubbing them.

Blog: Wimbledon dress code is all white with me

4:55pm Monday 1st July 2013

IT’S the second week of Wimbledon and already I’m mourning its loss. Not at any other time of the year do I even contemplate turning on daytime TV but during Wimbledon fortnight everything else is abandoned.

Blog: The pros and cons of career advice

4:23pm Monday 24th June 2013

MY youngest daughter wants to work in fashion retail. Buying and selling clothes, styling mannequins, window dressing... the works.

Blog: What do experts know?

4:20pm Monday 17th June 2013

I wish someone would start telling us the truth. It’s bad enough hearing the million-and-one theories the so-called experts are coming up with for the cold weather continuing into spring.

Blog: Give me a garden party any day!

3:25pm Monday 27th May 2013

A couple of years ago I threw away a completely decent burger.

Blog: Being a canny shopper isn't easy

1:33pm Monday 20th May 2013

What a proud mother she must be, I thought, as I read about the so-called ‘Coupon Kid’.

Blog: I break the rules and I don't feel guilty

1:35pm Monday 6th May 2013

My children went through a phase of telling me off. Going through traffic lights on amber, using charity bags as bin liners and swearing – all of which I know I shouldn't do – they picked me up on it.

Blog: The fun has gone out of photobooths

2:33pm Monday 29th April 2013

MUM, can I please have another £5?’ I suspected this would happen, that my daughter wouldn’t be satisfied with the set of pictures she had just ordered from the instant photo booth.




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