Helen Mead: I need a few new sights and sounds

Helen Mead: I need a few new sights and sounds

Helen Mead: I need a few new sights and sounds

First published in Helen Mead

‘IT seems like only yesterday that we were in Edinburgh.” It was at this time last year that we spent a weekend in the Scottish capital, and my husband was commenting on the past 12 months having flown by.

I agreed. I’m constantly struck by the rapid passage of time. In December, when I was rummaging around in cupboards for the Christmas decorations, it seemed like only days had passed since I’d done it the previous year.

Time seems to move so much faster as you grow older. I was discussing this with a sixty-something colleague, who cheered me up no end by morosely theorising that the fewer years we have left on this planet, the more we become aware of time, and the more quickly it passes.

He may be right. When I was in my teens and twenties I didn’t think ahead from one month to the next. I packed so much into my days, and was enjoying myself too much to be bothered by such things. The future looked rosy, and stretched before me.

Now the opposite is true. Apart from the odd holiday, my life is one of dull routine, doing the same things year after year.

That’s why I’m puzzled by the phrase ‘time flies if you’re having fun’. I’m not having fun, yet the months are whizzing by.

If I were to pinpoint an episode when time began to fly I would say when my children left primary school and started to retreat into their own worlds.

I haven’t been involved as much with their lives since. I haven’t taken them to school, helped at school functions or gone on school trips.

Those events provided a little variety in my life and broke up the passage of time. Now I just seem to work, shop (groceries, as opposed to clothing and treats), cook and clean.

This appears to have some credence. The 19th century psychologist William James claimed that the lack of new experiences in adulthood causes days and weeks to blend into an automatic routine and the years ‘grow hollow and collapse’. How uplifting.

It is obvious that I lack excitement and stimulation. What I need is a few new sights and sounds, a different routine.

But at my age, with family commitments, you can’t simply break off and backpack across South-East Asia.

The biological clock winding down has been linked to time passing more quickly – mine has stopped completely, so that’s another component speeding up the years. It’s all very depressing.

What I do know is that it has taken me a long time to write this column, so life isn’t passing me by completely.

Comments (19)

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1:34pm Tue 4 Feb 14

Ken Shuffles says...

Life stays with you while everything else appears to pass you by. Time isn't doing any moving, a feeling is moving you, you are the one that is moving, you are being moved, and because you are the one that is moving, everything else appears to be moving when non of it is actually moving. The feeling of you is the most moving and that is the feeling , the true feeling that can move everything else, as easily as it moves you.
Life stays with you while everything else appears to pass you by. Time isn't doing any moving, a feeling is moving you, you are the one that is moving, you are being moved, and because you are the one that is moving, everything else appears to be moving when non of it is actually moving. The feeling of you is the most moving and that is the feeling , the true feeling that can move everything else, as easily as it moves you. Ken Shuffles
  • Score: 0

1:40pm Tue 4 Feb 14

Ken Shuffles says...

What you need, is my special affection and time has no effect on that.
What you need, is my special affection and time has no effect on that. Ken Shuffles
  • Score: 0

1:45pm Tue 4 Feb 14

Ken Shuffles says...

I am your ocean of affection, and there is nothing that could move you more than that.
I am your ocean of affection, and there is nothing that could move you more than that. Ken Shuffles
  • Score: 0

1:55pm Tue 4 Feb 14

Ken Shuffles says...

Because you are special, you need a special type of affection you couldn't deserve. A special type of affection that is so special, so impossible to deserve, that you couldn't actually deserve it.
Because you are special, you need a special type of affection you couldn't deserve. A special type of affection that is so special, so impossible to deserve, that you couldn't actually deserve it. Ken Shuffles
  • Score: 0

2:05pm Tue 4 Feb 14

Ken Shuffles says...

A little leaf is blown through space by the wind and the little leaf thinks it is doing the flying ........ Always makes me chuckle when I remember that.
A little leaf is blown through space by the wind and the little leaf thinks it is doing the flying ........ Always makes me chuckle when I remember that. Ken Shuffles
  • Score: 0

2:08pm Tue 4 Feb 14

Ken Shuffles says...

Say "welcome home", to the feeling of you and see what happens......
Say "welcome home", to the feeling of you and see what happens...... Ken Shuffles
  • Score: 0

2:16pm Tue 4 Feb 14

Ken Shuffles says...

The feeling of you, can still make you cry.
The feeling of you, can still make you cry. Ken Shuffles
  • Score: 0

3:33pm Tue 4 Feb 14

Ken Shuffles says...

At least, that's two things lacking that are obvious then, as well as your deepest hunger to feel this affection.
At least, that's two things lacking that are obvious then, as well as your deepest hunger to feel this affection. Ken Shuffles
  • Score: 0

3:37pm Tue 4 Feb 14

Ken Shuffles says...

........Do fish ever feel thirsty ?
........Do fish ever feel thirsty ? Ken Shuffles
  • Score: 0

3:40pm Tue 4 Feb 14

Ken Shuffles says...

You might need a new sigh.....
You might need a new sigh..... Ken Shuffles
  • Score: 0

3:54pm Tue 4 Feb 14

Ken Shuffles says...

......to awaken your hunger for my affection.
......to awaken your hunger for my affection. Ken Shuffles
  • Score: 0

12:11pm Wed 5 Feb 14

Ken Shuffles says...

Time is a river of seasons. Some seasons are shorter and longer than other seasons. Someones twenty five years can be someone elses twenty five seconds. What passes for a few minutes here, can be a whole day there, and an entire lifetime somewhere else.
Time is a river of seasons. Some seasons are shorter and longer than other seasons. Someones twenty five years can be someone elses twenty five seconds. What passes for a few minutes here, can be a whole day there, and an entire lifetime somewhere else. Ken Shuffles
  • Score: 0

12:15pm Wed 5 Feb 14

Ken Shuffles says...

Each Universe is a season with a beginning and an ending and a middle.
Each Universe is a season with a beginning and an ending and a middle. Ken Shuffles
  • Score: 0

12:27pm Wed 5 Feb 14

Ken Shuffles says...

Every season, has its moment.
Every season, has its moment. Ken Shuffles
  • Score: 0

1:09pm Wed 5 Feb 14

Ken Shuffles says...

I am an Orphan. I never heard my mother laugh or received any fatherly affection. Starved of something I had no control over and vulnerable, I turned to a simple feeling, the feeling of me, the tranquil inside me, for the attention and the affection and the enthusiasm and the all the timeless answers, I needed.
I am an Orphan. I never heard my mother laugh or received any fatherly affection. Starved of something I had no control over and vulnerable, I turned to a simple feeling, the feeling of me, the tranquil inside me, for the attention and the affection and the enthusiasm and the all the timeless answers, I needed. Ken Shuffles
  • Score: 0

1:22pm Wed 5 Feb 14

Ken Shuffles says...

To me, a feeling is the most beautiful answer.
To me, a feeling is the most beautiful answer. Ken Shuffles
  • Score: 0

1:26pm Wed 5 Feb 14

Ken Shuffles says...

To me, a feeling is my mother and father.
To me, a feeling is my mother and father. Ken Shuffles
  • Score: 0

1:33pm Wed 5 Feb 14

Ken Shuffles says...

I had a feeling for a mum and a dad.
I had a feeling for a mum and a dad. Ken Shuffles
  • Score: 0

1:21pm Fri 7 Feb 14

Ken Shuffles says...

After a while, I grew into a Timeless solution for every obstacle.
After a while, I grew into a Timeless solution for every obstacle. Ken Shuffles
  • Score: 0

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