Blog: I love my cat more than my husband (From Chorley Citizen)

Blog: I love my cat more than my husband

1:43pm Monday 11th February 2013 in Helen Mead By Helen Mead, Lancashire Telegraph columnist

AS Valentine’s Day approaches, I’m going to confess: I love my cat more than my husband.

Before you reel back in horror, I have to add, I’m not alone. More than one in 10 of us love our feline friends more than our partners. And, in a survey by a pet product website, a whopping 36 per cent of dog owners admitted to loving their dog as much as their partner.

So why do I love my ginger tom, Gordon, more? Well, I could fill a hefty tome with the reasons, but unfortunately I’ve only got a small space so I’ll pick out the main ones:

• Gordon doesn’t shout at me for everything I do. Fair enough, he may ‘wowl’ a bit when he’s hungry or locked out of the room, which I do find annoying especially at 5am, but he doesn’t scream at me for absolutely everthing, from child-rearing to cleaning, to cooking. My cat doesn’t constantly judge me, and — more to the point — doesn’t give me black marks for trying my best.
• Gordon appreciates the food I give him. Unlike my husband, he rarely turns his nose up at the meals I present. My husband, on the other hand, makes it known that he hates everything I produce. Even the way I prepare meals comes in for criticism, from failing to properly use the chopping board to peeling veg the wrong way.
• My cat is soft and lovely to cuddle up to, not sweaty and slimy like my husband. He fits perfectly into my lap, and lies alongside me in bed, purring softly. He doesn’t have sharp knees and doesn’t remove 70 per cent of the duvet every time he turns over. It is a bit difficult when Gordon moves to sleep on my pillow, and I sometimes turn round to get a mouthful of fur, but it’s a small price to pay.
• Gordon looks at me with love in his eyes. My husband looks at me as he would a venomous snake that has slithered its way into our house and should be exterminated. I confess, Gordon does reserve his very, very special ‘I love you so much I could burst’ look for meal times, but he does look dreamily at me most of the time.

Obviously my husband scores points over Gordon in that he doesn’t scratch the furniture and doesn’t leave clods of earth on the bedclothes, but otherwise there’s no contest. No wonder more than a quarter of pet owners say that owning a pet makes them feel less in need of a relationship with a human.